Once you become a mother, your whole life changes. The way you see things and the way you treat others changes.
Now, I haven’t been a mother for long, but this list pretty much sums up the changes I’ve noticed once becoming one:
1. Your life no longer revolves around you.
Yes, surprisingly, the life you lived before is a complete and distant memory of the past.
You will no longer put yourself first when making decisions or major life changes. Selfishness turns into selflessness.
2. You will no longer be able to go out the way you used to.
Of course, the occasional night out is okay, but you won’t be staying out as late as you used to before you had kids.
This is not because the babysitter has a curfew; this is simply because you miss your child so much that being without him or her for a long period of time scares you.
3. One drink means one drink.
This ties in with number two. When you do get the lucky chance of going out for one night, you can either choose to not drink or have one. And, by one, I really mean one.
4. Your attitude about people suddenly changes.
If you weren’t a people person before having children and were a complete bitch (which was me), you suddenly come to find that being around and interacting with others isn’t all that bad, even those you don’t like.
5. You don’t mind getting poop on your fingers.
If you’re a mother, I’m sure this has happened to you one too many times. It definitely has to me, and my little girl isn’t even a month old yet.
I’m sure if you’ve ever gotten poop on your fingers while changing a baby that wasn’t yours, you’d think it was gross. Now, you’re probably used to it and you get prepared for the worst every time you change a diaper.
6. Netflix becomes your nighttime ritual during 3 am feedings.
Who wants to sit in the dark completely alone while feeding a fussy baby for almost an hour? Not me.
Plus, noise definitely calms my girl down, and those 3 am movies you watch are probably movies from either the 1980s or documentaries on war.
7. Sleep becomes a foreign subject to you.
You get absolutely no sleep. None. Those eight to 12 hours of sleep you’d normally get before children or during pregnancy are completely gone. You’re lucky if you get four hours, let alone 12.
The best part? You still put on a happy face and a baby voice when it’s time for a feeding.
8. You feel bad if you let them cry it out.
People say to let babies cry themselves to sleep if everything has been done; plus, it’s good on their lungs.
No. If my girl is crying for more than two minutes, I start crying.
9. When they fall asleep, you choose to hold them.
I have been caught doing this way too many times by my partner.
My daughter has so many places we can put her to sleep, but I’d rather hold her than risk waking her and having to start the process over. Yes, it’s another way you will risk your sleep once you become a mother.
10. You drive slower than a snail.
Before baby, I’m sure your driving habits were 20 mph over the speed limit. Or, was that just me, considering my awful driving skills?
After baby, your driving habits decrease by about 500 percent, and you stop along the side of the road every time you hear a whimper or a cry. Or nothing at all.
11. Your body is no longer your body.
Despite what people say and advertisements on stretch mark cream or belly bandits, your body will never be the same. You can have one kid and bounce back if you’re lucky, but after you pop out four, say hello to high-waisted bikini bottoms.
However, because you did carry a beautiful blessing for nine months, the last thing you worry about is how good you look when you have a crying baby that needs you.
12. You will no longer take your time at the local Walmart.
When grocery shopping or doing any shopping, I’m sure you’d spend a few hours doing it.
Now that baby has arrived, you want to get in and out as quickly as possible before he or she becomes fussy and you get those “bad parenting” stares from those who obviously never had children or don’t remember what it’s like to raise them.
13. Laundry day becomes “laundry every day.”
Every blanket and every outfit gets covered in either pee or spit up. This leaves you no choice but to do laundry on a daily basis, or at least more frequently. You have no time to sleep or eat; what makes you think you’ll have time for laundry?
But, you still do it with a smile on your face.
14. You want those new Jimmy Choos? Nope.
Yes, you will risk your online shopping addiction at high-priced stores for places like Amazon, Gap and eBay.
The first things you buy? Baby items. Shopping becomes a thing of the past for you, and it becomes all about baby.
15. You choose to find friends who are moms over friends who are drunks.
Once you become a mom, you replace your old friends — the ones who party, sleep around and are just bad influences on you — with new friends who are moms, as well, and who understand motherhood and all it has to offer.
16. Holidays become holidays for the kids.
Christmas, Halloween and Thanksgiving become holidays for the kids. When you shop, you don’t worry about what to get your mother or your partner; you worry about what to get your children.
And, the look on their faces when they see something they wanted is priceless.
17. Babysitting turns into a whole FBI background check.
As soon as your baby was born, I’m sure you got plenty of offers for babysitters. However, you don’t go with just any babysitter because she’s a friend of a friend.
You do a whole background check to make sure this person is safe to be around your child. The worrying gets to you, and even when you do find the perfect babysitter, you still worry.